dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
