True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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