JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Can't talk, ducks in the car
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
