She announced her abortion via fbk
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
