Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
