she was so not down for the gang bang
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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