it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
