We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
