It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
