...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
