Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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