He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
and you fell through a lawn chair
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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