There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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