Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
