dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize