Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
