How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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