"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
