I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
