Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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