carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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