do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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