Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
this boner is exhausting
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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