love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
