So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize