I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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