wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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