YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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