there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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