We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
