I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
