You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
MIDGETS
????
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
