C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wish I only lived at night.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
