Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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