South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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