She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize