i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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