butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
pray to the hookup gods
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
