youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize