So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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