That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
