this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
