I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
