if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
