Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
