I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
