i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
