FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize