morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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