He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
