I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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