In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
