don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
