Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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