Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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