porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
