why didn't you poke me back
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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