the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
