I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
