I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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