I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
