you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
