My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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