batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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