just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
