so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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