Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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