you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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