I just pynch a tree in the face
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
