I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
