dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
