WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Randomize
