That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize