now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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